This blog is about why challenge is exactly what our tamariki need to thrive.
In our last blog, we talked about the shift from a play-based childhood to a phone-based one, and how it’s leaving many young people stuck on ‘struggle street’. We know the environment has changed and it is impacting our youth, and we’ve got a solution.
Psychologist Jonathan Haidt, author of The Anxious Generation, points to a powerful concept: Anti-fragility. He argues that children actually grow stronger (not weaker) when exposed to small, manageable risks, mistakes, and challenges.
But when I speak to audiences across Aotearoa, I like to strip the jargon away and call it something much simpler: doing hard stuff.
The “Do Hard Stuff” message
Here is the simple message I share with students: ‘Just like your feet get tough when you walk without shoes, your brain gets tough when you try tricky stuff.’
‘When you are doing something, and it feels hard, your first instinct might be to quit. But feeling that friction is actually a good sign. It means your brain is growing stronger. So whether it’s tackling a complex maths problem, starting a conversation with someone new, riding a tough trail, or climbing a massive hill – the goal should be to do something hard each week.’
Why challenge matters for today’s youth (and teachers!)
As parents and educators, our natural instinct is to clear the path for our tamariki. We care about them, so we don’t want to see them fail, feel anxious, or get frustrated.
But when we remove all the bumps in the road, we are actually being unhelpful. We’re unintentionally robbing them of the chance to learn how to navigate those obstacles.
For teachers across New Zealand, this is a familiar scene. You see it in the classroom when a student gives up on a maths problem after one attempt, or when everyday social friction in the playground feels insurmountable to them.
Resilience isn’t a theory we can just teach on a whiteboard, it has to be experienced again and again. Challenge matters because it is the only true mechanism for young people to discover what they are genuinely capable of handling.
In fact, the Ministry of Education’s 2025 EOTC Guidelines explicitly recognise this, highlighting that education outside the classroom provides vital opportunities for ākonga to develop core curriculum values like “excellence, aiming high and persevering in the face of difficulties”.
Real Stories of Anti-fragility in Action
When we give students a supportive framework to safely step outside their comfort zones, such as the William Pike Challenge, the results are incredible. Here are five stories pulled directly from student reflections on our online platform that show exactly why embracing the struggle is so important:
- St. Martins School: Before his first tree-planting activity, a student was terrified of “stuffing up” and focused on everything that could go wrong. By stepping into that discomfort anyway, he quickly adapted, settled in, and ended up thriving in a new environment. It was a brilliant lesson in overcoming the fear of failure.
- Wakefield School: this student learnt about building confidence through consistency. Initially she felt extremely shy starting kayaking with a group of strangers. By continually showing up and pushing past the awkwardness, her confidence skyrocketed, she achieved her Passion Project goal of learning to kayak.
- Havelock North Intermediate: A student went from shy to shining. He described himself as a quiet boy who actively avoided the outdoors. Through the challenge, he faced his fears, gained confidence being outside, and built a tight-knit, supportive group of friends.
- Wairarapa Cobham Intermediate: A student found learning to crochet so frustrating that she was ready to give up. Pushing through that manageable struggle taught her a profound lesson about the power of pushing through: “No matter how hard or frustrating something is, never give up.”
- Otamatea High School: A student found courage through action, pushing past her comfort zone to tackle environmental issues by organising beach cleanups and removing hundreds of pieces of plastic. Embracing this challenge also gave her the confidence to volunteer weekly at a local op-shop, allowing her to deeply connect with her community.
Unlocking their Potential
These stories prove that our system and youth aren’t broken. Our youth are simply waiting for the right challenges to show them how strong they really are. As teachers, we have the power to give (or not!) these powerful learning experiences. When we incorporate programmes that progress in complexity to match our students’ capabilities, we safely build their confidence and resilience.
As a society, when we embrace “doing hard stuff,” we stop wrapping our students in cotton wool and start handing them the tools to navigate a complex and unpredictable world.
For our amazing teachers and parents, this means continuing to hold space for productive struggle. It’s about celebrating the attempt as much as the success, and letting our tamariki know that feeling uncomfortable is just the feeling of their confidence growing.
In our next blog, we’ll dive deeper into how independence fuels confidence, and why letting our kids do things on their own is a total game-changer.
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